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The [Hotel Name] Review: My Chaotic, Occasionally Blissful, Stay
Okay, deep breaths. Where do I even START with the [Hotel Name]? I’m still unpacking the sensory overload, the lingering scent of… something vaguely floral and vaguely disinfectant, and the deep, soul-crushing realization that I definitely ate too much breakfast. But hey, here goes nothing. Buckle up, buttercups, because this review will be as scattered and unpredictable as my last attempt at assembling IKEA furniture.
Accessibility (and My Own Humbling Experiences):
First things first: Accessibility, big tick here. They've nailed it. Wheelchair accessible is actually accurate, not just a polite suggestion. I saw ramps, elevators that didn’t involve a cryptic code, and enough space in the lobby to swing a very large, very annoyed cat (hypothetically, of course, I don’t advocate cat abuse.) Speaking of which, the Elevator situation? Smooth sailing. No more elevator anxiety! Hallelujah!
Now, let’s be honest. While the physical accessibility seemed top-notch, my personal mental capacity for navigating massive hotel labyrinths… well, that’s a different story. I got lost… a lot. Wandering around, suddenly convinced I was in an episode of "The Shining." Eventually, I found my room, but not before a minor existential crisis. Still, the intention was clearly there, and that counts for a lot.
On-Site Restaurants & Lounges (Fueling the Inner Beast):
Okay, food. My weakness. My downfall. The Restaurants were plentiful, and frankly, a little overwhelming. Let’s start with the Asian breakfast – a delicious, fragrant, potentially life-altering experience. Seriously, those little dumplings… chef's kiss. The Breakfast [buffet] was a monster of its own, practically begging me to overeat. And I, being a glutton for punishment (and excellent pastries), happily obliged. The Coffee/tea in restaurant was decent enough, though I’m a caffeine snob and secretly wished for a barista showdown.
Then there was the Poolside bar. Ah, heaven. Picture this: me, sprawled on a chaise lounge, sipping a questionable yet refreshing cocktail, judging everyone else's sunbathing technique. The Pool with a view was actually quite stunning. The view was spectacular, despite the slight haze of sunscreen particles that clung to everything.. Honestly, if I had a complaint is that nobody brought me a drink and the staff was sometimes hard to find.
I also frequented the Snack bar. Mostly because they had the aforementioned pastries. I didn't try the Vegetarian restaurant. I'm a carnivore by nature, you see. I will say, the Happy hour felt a lot more like "Happy Hour and a Half" at times, which I definitely appreciated.
Cleanliness & Safety (Because, You Know, The World):
Look, in this day and age, this is paramount. Thankfully, the [Hotel Name] took this seriously. The Anti-viral cleaning products were definitely doing their job. The aroma of disinfectant mixed with perfume wasn’t always appealing, but hey, I’d rather smell like a hospital than catch something. Rooms sanitized between stays gave me some peace of mind. The Daily disinfection in common areas was a constant presence. They even had Sterilizing equipment. And they had more Hand sanitizer than I've ever seen in one place. The Staff trained in safety protocol seemed genuinely informed. The Physical distancing of at least 1 meter was mostly observed. And, they did a really good job with Safe dining setup.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking (A Culinary Journey):
Let’s circle back to the food, shall we? I spent, let’s be honest, an embarrassing amount of time in the Restaurants. There was the Breakfast [buffet]. The A la carte in restaurant was the epitome of elegance. The Asian cuisine in restaurant… I could make a life there. And the Poolside bar. The Desserts in restaurant were a sin. Alternative meal arrangement for those with specific dietary needs was available. Room service [24-hour] felt utterly decadent. The Soup in restaurant was always a comfort. The Salad in restaurant was actually really good. The Coffee/tea in restaurant was fine. I wish they had more options.
Services & Conveniences (The Little Things That Matter):
Alright, let’s talk practicalities. The Concierge was super helpful. They gave me the best advice on what to do. The Air conditioning in public area saved me from melting like a wax candle. The Daily housekeeping was fantastic. The room was always clean. However, no, I didn’t use the Dry cleaning or Ironing service, because, as previously established, I’m a bit of a disaster zone. The Laundry service was a lifesaver for a sweaty tourist. Cash withdrawal was easy. The Currency exchange saved me a lot of hassle. The Elevator was reliable. And the Meeting/banquet facilities seemed impressive, although I didn't partake. The Gift/souvenir shop felt like a tourist trap but hey, those trinkets and souvenirs were my jam.
For the Kids (Bless Their Little Hearts):
I didn’t have any children with me, but I did notice the Family/child friendly atmosphere was strong. There were definitely Kids facilities, and I’m sure they loved them. There was a Babysitting service. I definitely think this hotel is ideal for families.
Available In All Rooms (The Comfort Zone):
My room, oh, my room! It was a haven of… well, amenities. Air conditioning, absolutely essential. The Alarm clock was functional at least. The Bathrobes were luxurious… the Bathtub was the right size. Blackout curtains that actually worked! The Coffee/tea maker went unused. The Complimentary tea was a sweet touch. The Hair dryer was surprisingly effective, which is not a common occurrence for me. The Free bottled water saved me from the wrath of dehydration. The In-room safe box was nice and secure. The Internet access – wireless was strong. The Laptop workspace was functional. The Linens felt divine. The Mini bar was tempting. The Private bathroom was spotless. The Refrigerator was just right. The Satellite/cable channels kept me entertained. Separate shower/bathtub was a nice. The Smoke detector actually worked which is good. The Soundproofing was the only thing that kept me from hearing the noise from the hall. The Wi-Fi [free] was a lifesaver, despite my occasional digital detox.
Things to do, Ways to Relax (And Maybe Get a Little Pampered):
The spa! The glorious spa! The Pool with view wasn't the only way to relax, the Spa, Spa/sauna, and Steamroom were a dream. I actually tried the Body scrub and the Massage. I walked out feeling like a new person. Seriously, bliss! I didn’t try the Body wrap. I did visit the Fitness center, which, to my surprise, was actually pretty well-equipped.
Getting Around (Navigating the Chaos):
The Car park [free of charge] was a godsend. The Taxi service was readily available. I didn't need the Airport transfer. I didn't even see the Bicycle parking, because I have a terrible sense of direction.
In conclusion:
The [Hotel Name] is not without its quirks. It's big, it's busy, and occasionally, you'll feel like a small cog in a very large machine. But the staff are generally lovely, the food is (mostly) amazing, and the spa… oh, the spa! If you're willing to embrace a little chaos, a touch of sensory overload, and a whole lot of delicious food, then you'll probably have a fantastic time. Just… try not to get lost. And maybe pack extra pants. You’ll understand why. I’m giving it a solid [out of 5 stars], with a strong recommendation for spa addicts and breakfast enthusiasts. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need a nap.
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Okay, buckle up buttercup! This isn't your grandma's itinerary. This is a chaotic, emotional, probably-wrong-but-hopefully-hilarious itinerary for a stay at the Holiday Inn Express & Suites Rock Springs Green River (By IHG) in Rock Springs, Wyoming. Prepare for a ride.
The "Surviving Rock Springs (and Possibly Myself)" Itinerary
Day 1: Arrival and the Existential Dread of the Western Desert
1:00 PM: Arrive in Rock Springs. (Or, more accurately, survive the arrival. This is Wyoming, people. It's vast, and it's brown. My initial emotional reaction? A slight existential whimper. "Is this… it?")
- Anecdote: Found myself staring out the car window at the miles of sagebrush and thinking deep thoughts about the meaning of life. Realized the meaning of life was probably to find a decent cup of coffee, stat.
1:30 PM: Check into the Holiday Inn Express & Suites. Pray for a room on a higher floor, not facing the highway. (I'm a light sleeper, and I need my sleep. The IHG app promised a comfy bed, right? Let's hope it delivers, especially after that drive…)
- Quirky Observation: The lobby looks… surprisingly normal. Like, if you squint, you could be anywhere. But the smell… it smells like… well, it smells like a Holiday Inn Express. A comforting smell, though. Like a warm hug. Or maybe it's the free breakfast anticipation kicking in.
2:00 PM - 3:00 PM: Unpack. Assess the room. Test the bed. Pray it’s not the saggy, springy horror show that ruins your back for a week. Try to ignore the lingering feeling that you've accidentally stumbled into a David Lynch film.
- Imperfection: Forgot my phone charger. (Cue internal screaming.) Luckily, it's a Holiday Inn. They probably have one at the front desk. Right? Right?
- Opinion: Hotel rooms always seem a little… lonely. You're surrounded by space yet isolated. Must find a friend so that I don't go utterly mad.
3:00 PM - 5:00 PM: ROCK SPRINGS EXPLORATION (or, "Trying to Find Something, Anything, Interesting").
- Direction: Google maps has suggested a few sights: I'll start with the Rock Springs Historical Museum because it feels wrong to visit a Wild West town without getting familiar with its history, right? Then, I can consider driving through local neighborhoods (or maybe the "historic" ones).
- Opinion: Honestly, my expectations are low. I'm hoping to be pleasantly surprised, but I'm steeling myself for a whole lot of… well, brown. Maybe a tumbleweed sighting? Bonus points if it’s a dramatic tumbleweed.
- Emotional Reaction: Mild annoyance at the wind. Mild appreciation for the vastness. A growing hunger.
5:00 PM - 6:00 PM: Dinner. The choices seem limited (according to outdated online reviews, at least). Probably a chain restaurant. (Sob). Pray for edible food.
- Rambling: Okay, so chain restaurants aren't always bad. Sometimes, they're a reliable source of familiar comfort. Though, I'm also on the quest for something local. The search continues.
- Direction: Will consider the options based on Yelp reviews. If they're awful, I'll resign myself to a comforting, familiar plate of something from a chain.
6:00 PM - 8:00 PM: Relax in the room, maybe watch some TV. Or, you know, contemplate my existence. Might call the front desk to ask about a phone charger. (Again. The internal screaming persists.)
8:00 PM - 9:00 PM: Try to resist the urge to raid the vending machine for overpriced snacks. Fail.
9:00 PM: Bedtime. Pray for a good night's sleep and a sunrise that isn’t just more brown.
Day 2: Craters, Coffee, and Existential Crisis, Part 2
7:00 AM: Praise be the free breakfast. (Seriously, that's what makes or breaks a Holiday Inn Express experience.) Scrounge for the coffee. (Vital.)
- Emotional Reaction: The joy of free breakfast is real. The coffee is… adequate.
8:00 AM: Head-trip to Pilot Butte Wild Horse Scenic Loop
- Direction: Drive around and hunt for wild horses.
- Anecdote: This looks cool (and sounds wild). I hope to take some shots of the wild horses.
- Emotional Reaction: Mild surprise at seeing the actual wildlife in the middle of nowhere
10:00 AM - 12:00 PM: *DOUBLING DOWN: Exploring Killpecker Sand Dunes.
- Messy/Honest: I know it's a bit of a drive, but hey! These dunes look insane. I mean, it's a desert. It's sand. And it's huge! This might be the coolest thing of my trip.
- Anecdote: The drive to the Killpecker Sand Dunes was… something. The landscape kept changing, as green began to fade to brown. There were tumbleweeds flying through the roads. I went through several different emotional states (mostly, though, amazed at the contrast of the geography).
- Rambling/Opinion: I'm not sure that I'm prepared to drive, but it can be a fun experience.
- Stronger Emotional Reactions: This is a moment where the world stops or moves in slow motion: a quiet moment, where the world fades in and out of focus.
- Direction: I'll just drive and arrive at the Dunes.
12:00 PM - 1:00 PM: Lunch. Hopefully, found something not a chain restaurant.
- Opinion: The area seems a little rough.
1:00 PM - 4:00 PM: Return to Hotel. Then, the existential dread returns.
4:00 PM - 6:00 PM: Dinner, followed by a walk.
6:00 PM: Bedtime, with the hope that tomorrow will bring something a little… more interesting.
Day 3: Departure and the Lingering Dust of Rock Springs
7:00 AM: Free breakfast. More coffee. This is the fuel that keeps me going.
8:00 AM: Check out of the Holiday Inn Express. Say goodbye to my temporary home (and the promise of constant coffee refills).
8:30 AM: Start the drive towards the next destination.
9:00 AM: Rock Springs.
Final Thoughts: Rock Springs, Wyoming. I survived. Maybe even enjoyed it. (Well, mostly.) It's not a pretty place, but it's a place, and it's part of the world. And hey, at least the Holiday Inn had decent coffee. And free breakfast. And that, my friends, is sometimes enough.
AND that concludes my messy, possibly-slightly-unhinged itinerary. Enjoy your trip. And try not to think about the brown too much.
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So, what even *is* the point of all this? Like, in general?
Ugh, the existential dread. I *feel* you. Look, I've been staring at the ceiling at 3 AM, pondering the meaning of a slightly misshapen avocado, and trust me, there’s no easy answer. I've tried to find the answer, it’s not a single, neat little bow to tie things off. Some days I’m convinced it's to binge-watch reality TV. Other days, it's to finally master the art of the perfect sourdough. Honestly? I think the point is the journey, the mess, the learning. And the chocolate. Always the chocolate. Seriously though... there's no map. You just stumble around, hoping you don't trip a squirrel.
I'm feeling overwhelmingly stressed. Help!
Oh, honey, me too! Seriously. The other day, I was so stressed, I accidentally put my socks in the freezer. Don't judge! Okay, first, deep breaths. Seriously. In through the nose, out through the mouth. I once read a blog post about people who got themselves into a crazy situation. It was really a disaster of a story and it was a long story too but, whatever! Find something, ANYthing, that brings you a shred of joy. Chocolate, as mentioned? A funny cat video? A long phone call with a friend where you can just *vent*? It goes a long way! If you're chronically stressed, maybe talk to a professional. I am not one, and I am not qualified to give you much more than simple advice. Just know you're not alone. Feeling overwhelmed is basically the human condition.
What’s the deal with relationships? They seem… complicated.
Complicated? That’s like saying the ocean is *slightly* damp. Relationships, whether romantic, platonic, familial… they're a glorious, frustrating, beautiful, maddening, and occasionally terrifying jumble. I've had relationships that have felt like riding a rollercoaster in a hurricane and also relationships that felt like, well, a nice cup of tea. You learn. You mess up. You forgive (yourself and others). Communication is key. Also, wine. Wine helps. Don’t take my word for it though. I am not a professional. Everyone does things differently.
How do I deal with failure? It stings!
I totally get it. Failure sucks. I've failed at things I've put my heart and soul into. I’ve failed at things I didn't even *try* at. Once, I tried to bake a cake, and it looked like a geological formation... a very sad, lopsided geological formation. The important thing is to dust yourself off, learn from it (if possible), and keep going. I know it's easier said than done, but honestly, the world keeps turning, and there's always another opportunity. Don’t let the cake-shaped failures define you.
What about money? It's always such a worry.
Ugh, money. The bane of my existence. I'm pretty sure I've developed a twitch just thinking about it. It's okay to talk about it. I always feel bad that I can’t afford the fancy coffee. Seriously, I once went a whole month eating only ramen because I splurged on a vintage typewriter. (Worth it. But still… ramen.) Budgeting is good (I'm told). Saving is better. And if you find a money tree growing in your backyard, PLEASE let me know. Really. I'll bring the shovel. We can make up for lost time, and it's so much fun!
What are some good ways to improve your mental health?
Okay, again, I'm not a doctor, so take this with a grain of salt... or maybe a whole salt lick. Things that generally help me? Exercise (ugh, BUT it helps!), spending time in nature (even if it's just sitting on a park bench for ten minutes), connecting with supportive people, trying to remember to *breathe* (seriously!), limiting social media (it's a highlight reel, remember!), and giving yourself permission to be imperfect. Also? Therapy. It's not a sign of weakness; it's a sign of strength. And sometimes, a good cry is all you need. It's cathartic!
What's the best way to handle a really difficult situation?
Ooh. Those are the worst. The ones that punch you in the gut and leave you wondering what the heck just happened. First, acknowledge the yuck. Don’t try to sweep it under the rug. Allow yourself to feel the emotions – the anger, the sadness, the confusion, the whatever. Then, try to break it down into manageable pieces. What *can* you control? What's the next small step you can take? Reach out for support. Talk to someone you trust. And remember, just like the clouds move, difficult situations eventually pass. Yes it doesn't seem like it at the moment, things can change!
How do I deal with people who are constantly negative?
Oh, the energy vampires! They're everywhere! Look, it's okay to set boundaries. You are not obligated to absorb their negativity. You can politely end the conversation, change the subject, or limit your time with them. Sometimes, a simple, "I'm not feeling up to this conversation right now" is enough. Remember, you can’t control other people, but you *can* control how you react to them. Protect your peace. It's precious! I have one friend who, bless her heart, has a knack for finding the worst in EVERY situation. I love her dearly, but sometimes, I just have to say, "Okay, let's focus on something happy, shall we?" Or maybe just escape! And by escape, I mean... a whole bottle of wine.
What advice would you give to your younger self?
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