Palace Inn Blue: Houston's Hidden Gem? (CityCentre Luxury!)
Okay, buckle up, buttercups, because we're wading into the review of [Hotel Name Here, Let's Pretend]. This isn't your typical TripAdvisor fluff piece, this is the real deal, raw and unfiltered, like that questionable tap water in your room (more on that later).
SEO & Metadata Stuff (Just in Case Google is Watching):
- Keywords: Hotel Review, Accessibility, Wheelchair Accessible, Free Wi-Fi, Spa, Swimming Pool, Restaurant, Fitness Center, Non-Smoking Rooms, COVID-19 Safety, [Hotel Name], Luxury Hotel, Family-Friendly Hotel, Business Travel, [City/Region] Hotels
- Meta Description: A brutally honest review of [Hotel Name], covering accessibility, amenities, dining, safety, and much, much more. From Wi-Fi woes to poolside bliss, discover the good, the bad, and the surprisingly lukewarm about this hotel. Read the full review.
Let's Get Started, Shall We?
Okay, so, I just got back from (pretend) staying at [Hotel Name]. And let me tell you, it was an experience. Not always in the way you'd expect. This isn't going to be all sunshine and roses, folks, because, well, life rarely is, is it?
Accessibility: The (Mostly) Good, The (Potentially) Bad?
Right off the bat, I need to say this: When they say "wheelchair accessible," always double-check. They claimed [Hotel Name] was, and for the most part, it seemed to be. Ramps were there, elevators were present (and actually worked, which is a small miracle, let's be honest). But the hallways? Oy vey. Some were a tight squeeze, and I'm talking for a regular-sized chair. So, yeah, might be a tight squeeze for larger ones.
On-Site Accessible Restaurants/Lounges: Well, again, CLAIMED to have it, and like the ramps, it's a 'maybe'. The main restaurant, [Restaurant Name], looked accessible, but maneuvering around the over-enthusiastic waiters with trays the size of surfboards was a challenge, even for someone without mobility issues.
Internet: The Eternal Struggle
Ah, the internet. A modern traveler's bane. They shouted about "Free Wi-Fi in All Rooms!" which is lovely, but "free" doesn't always mean functional. Let's just say my attempts to stream anything more demanding than a pixelated cat video were met with the digital equivalent of a shrug. There's also a "LAN Internet" thing, which I believe is some relic of the Jurassic period. I did manage to use it, but it felt like I was using a time machine.
Things to Do, Ways to Relax (and the occasional existential crisis)
- Pool with a View: Now, this was something. The pool was actually gorgeous. Sparkling, infinity edge, overlooking [insert scenic view here]. I spent a solid two hours there doing absolutely nothing. That, my friends, is what I call relaxation. Until, you know, I realized I hadn't packed sunscreen and was starting to resemble a boiled lobster.
- Spa/Sauna/Steam Room: Okay, so this is where things got… messy. The spa was gorgeous, all hushed voices and calming music. I opted for the "Body Scrub & Wrap Combo," which sounded amazing. Turns out, being slathered in mud and then wrapped in what felt like cling film is less "relaxing" and more "claustrophobic panic." I’m not sure if I loved it, and frankly, it's still up for debate. The steam room was a welcome relief though!
- Fitness Center/Gym: I peeked. It looked… adequate. I will not speak on the machines because I chose the pool instead. Also, I'm not sure I could have managed the steep stairs.
- Massage: I was so desperate after being wrapped in cling film, but I was just too tired to manage.
Cleanliness & Safety: COVID-19 Edition (Because, Ugh)
Look, they tried. They really, really tried. There were signs everywhere about "Anti-viral Cleaning Products," "Daily Disinfection in Common Areas," and "Staff Trained in Safety Protocol." They used "Hand Sanitizer," more than I think I have seen in any single location in my life. The fact that they offered "Room Sanitization Opt-out" made me a bit suspicious, but what do I know?
However, I did see housekeeping once, (maybe twice?), and their efforts seemed rushed. Were the rooms "sanitized between stays"? I can't definitively claim it, but I'm a bit skeptical.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: A Journey Through Culinary Uncertainty
- Restaurants: [Hotel Name] boasted multiple restaurants, from the fancy-pants [Restaurant Name] (international cuisine, big on presentation, tiny on portions) to [Restaurant Name] (a bit more relaxed, the food was okay). The "coffee/tea in restaurant" seemed to be available everywhere, a godsend for my caffeine addiction.
- Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner: The Buffet Listen, I love a good buffet. The way it works is a constant source of wonder for me. I was always impressed.
- Room Service: A Lifesaver at 3 AM: Thank God for 24-hour room service. After that wrap, I needed a large pizza and several bottles of water. Delivered promptly.
Services and Conveniences: The Usual Gumbo
- Air Conditioning: Worked, blessedly. Though the unit in my room sounded like a jet engine.
- Concierge: Helpful, in that aloof, vaguely superior way that concierges sometimes have.
- Laundry Service: Slow. Like, glacially. Prepare for the waiting.
- Elevator: It worked. I said that before.
- Cash Withdrawal: Convenient.
For the Kids (and the Kid in All of Us)
They had some "Kids Facilities", but as a single, childless traveler, I spent very little time there.
Available in All Rooms:
- Air Conditioning: Yes, and in high volume.
- Alarm Clock: Yes.
- Coffee/Tea Maker: Yes.
- Free bottled water: Yes, but the water tasted weird unless you ran the tap for a full minute.
- Hair dryer: Yes, and it worked.
- Wi-Fi [free]: Again, good luck with that "free" part.
Now for the Emotional Rollercoaster:
Okay, so, would I stay here again? Maybe. The pool was fantastic, the room service was reliable, and the staff, while occasionally a bit… distracted, were generally pleasant. It's not a perfect hotel, far from it. It has its flaws (the questionable internet, the occasionally rushed cleaning, the spa wrap…), but it also has its moments of brilliance. It's a hotel, not a utopia. Manage your expectations, pack your own strong Wi-Fi, and for the love of all that is holy, bring your own sunscreen. You might actually enjoy it. I did, after getting over the panic from the wrap and after running the tap of the water for a full minute.
Rating: 3.5 Stars (with a generous asterisk for the pool)
Pullman Paris Montparnasse: Your Parisian Dream Awaits!
Alright, buckle up buttercups, 'cause we're about to dive headfirst into a Houston adventure, starting… inhales sharply … right here at the Palace Inn Blue CityCentre. Let's be honest, that name alone sounds like a rejected Backstreet Boys album title, but hey, it's a place to sleep, right? And that's all that really matters after a twelve-hour drive, which, FYI, included a screaming toddler, a rogue GPS that wanted me to drive through a Taco Bell, and a near-death experience involving a rogue tumbleweed. (Okay, dramatics. It was a big tumbleweed. Still scary.)
Day 1: Arrival – And the Quest for Caffeine Begins
- 3:00 PM: Finally arrive at the Palace Inn. The lobby? Let's just say it has a certain… "budget motel chic" vibe. Think faded floral wallpaper and the faint aroma of stale coffee. Okay, I NEED coffee. Like, yesterday.
- 3:15 PM: Check-in. The front desk guy seems nice, though I suspect he's seen things. My room? Surprisingly… clean. Okay, maybe this won't be as bad as I feared. But that wallpaper… it’s screaming “80s prom night”.
- 3:30 PM: The search for coffee. This is a CRISIS. The little "complimentary breakfast" area offers a sad-looking coffee machine that looks like it was salvaged from a 1970s dentist's office. Nope. Nope. Nope. I'm going to need a proper caffeine hit, pronto.
- 3:45 PM: Scour the parking lot. Ah-ha! A potential Starbucks. I spot it, and I feel a surge of hope.
- 4:00 PM: Post-caffeine bliss. My first dose of the day.
- 4:30 PM: Check-in that my room has a view. It doesn't. It has what I call the "parking lot panorama." Oh well, at least it’s not the dumpster view. (Small victories, people.)
- 5:00 PM: Wander around CityCentre. It's kinda… fancy. Lots of gleaming shops and restaurants. Feeling severely underdressed in my travel sweatpants. Maybe I'll just window-shop and pretend I'm a millionaire.
- 7:00 PM: Dinner at a random restaurant (too tired to choose), I'm pretty sure I ordered the wrong thing. It tasted of… well, let’s just say it wasn’t the highlight of my day. I want to forget about it.
- 8:00 PM: Back to the Palace Inn. The bed is… okay. The pillows? Fluffy. My mood? Improving.
Day 2: Culture Shock and Food Comas
- 7:00 AM: Sigh. Complimentary breakfast. The coffee situation hasn't improved. I take a pass and head to the Starbucks. Again.
- 8:00 AM: This time, I actually read the map. I finally get that there’s a whole lot more to Houston.
- 9:00 AM: Drive somewhere. Get lost. Swear. Eventually, find the Menil Collection. Free art! Woohoo! The place is just… glorious. I wander around, feeling vaguely superior and intellectual.
- 11:00 AM: The Rothko Chapel. Wow. Just… wow. I sit there for a ridiculous amount of time, just feeling the weight of the world (and maybe a slight sugar crash from that gigantic muffin). It’s… overwhelming in the best way. I'll probably need a nap after this.
- 12:00 PM: Lunch at a small Vietnamese restaurant. It's fantastic. The pho broth is ambrosial, but I feel like I'm going to slip directly into a food coma.
- 1:30 PM: Still in a food coma. I stumble back to the hotel, vaguely remembering a passing suggestion of "rest" in the original plan.
- 2:00 PM: Nap time. I wake up feeling refreshed, and ready to explore more.
- 3:00 PM - 5:00 PM: I have a mission: to find amazing Tex-Mex. A local recommended Guadalajara. They were not wrong. The enchiladas were a symphony of flavor, and the margaritas… well, let’s just say I had to pace myself. (I may have failed at this.)
- 7:00 PM: Back at the hotel. Stuffed. Blissful. This is the life.
- 8:00 PM: Seriously considering just staying in bed and watching bad TV. The allure of room service is strong.
Day 3: A Little Bit of Everything (and More Caffeine)
- 7:00 AM: You know the drill. Starbucks.
- 8:00 AM: I attempt to be a "cultural tourist," and visit the Space Center Houston. It's cool, but it honestly gave me a slight existential crisis. Humanity is so small, etc., you know?
- 11:00 AM: I'm hungry. Again. I try a burger. It's fine.
- 12:00 PM: After the Space Center, all of that space exploration has me feeling like I need some retail therapy. I hit up the area for some shopping (the most expensive thing I buy is a Houston T-shirt.)
- 3:00 PM: I decide to be adventurous and try a new restaurant, recommended by a woman at the local coffee shop (she was wearing a fantastic hat). It’s delicious, and I make friends with a grumpy old man at the bar. He’s a gem.
- 7:00 PM: Back in the hotel. Packing. Sad. I don't want to go home.
- 8:00 PM: I'm already looking up the next trip. Houston, you were weird, wonderful, and I'll be back.
Final Thoughts:
The Palace Inn Blue CityCentre? Functional. A solid sleep-spot. But honestly, it was me, not the hotel, that made the trip. It’s the unexpected conversations, the wrong turns, the food comas… those are the things you remember. And the coffee. Always the coffee. Houston, you crazy, beautiful city. Until next time…
(P.S. I still don't have a favorite restaurant. This is a major crime, and I'm leaving Houston in shame. I'm coming back with a vengeance.)
LA's Hottest Hidden Gem: Hi-Way Host Motel! (You Won't Believe This!)
Well, Hello There! (aka: FAQs Nobody Asked, Probably About Me, but Here We Go Anyway)
So, who *are* you, exactly? (And do you even know?)
What's the *deal* with your obsession with…? (You know what I mean.)
What's something you absolutely HATE? (Don't hold back, please.)
What's the *best* thing that ever happened to you? (And I’m holding you to this!)
What are your biggest flaws? Be honest! (Come on, everybody has them!)
Where do you see yourself in 5 years? (Ugh, this question...)
What's one thing you wish you could change about the world? (Don't get all idealistic on me, now.)
Finally, any last words? (Brace yourself.)
