- Pretoria's Royal Elephant: Luxury Hotel & Conference Paradise!
- Royal Elephant: Pretoria's "Luxury" Jungle? (A Review with Quirks and Confessions)
- Royal Elephant Hotel & Conference Paradise: FAQs (Because Let's Be Honest, You Probably Need Answers)
- The Basics (Because We Gotta Start Somewhere, Right?)
- Food, Glorious Food (Because, priorities, people!)
- Conferences & Events (Because, work, unfortunately)
- The Nitty Gritty Stuff (Because Life Isn't Always Champagne and Roses)
Pretoria's Royal Elephant: Luxury Hotel & Conference Paradise!
Royal Elephant: Pretoria's "Luxury" Jungle? (A Review with Quirks and Confessions)
Okay, buckle up, buttercups, because I've just emerged from the… let's call it a "luxury zone" known as the Royal Elephant Hotel & Conference Paradise in Pretoria. And let me tell you, it's a place that leaves you with a whole spectrum of feelings. Think shimmering gold, a dash of disappointment, and a generous helping of "Did I really pay that much?".
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First Impressions & Ambiance (Pretty, but…)
The sheer scale of the place – it's a beast. Driving up, you're greeted by… well, an elephant statue (duh!), and a sprawling property that promises grandeur. The grounds are meticulously manicured, with lush gardens and strategically placed water features. It's undeniably pretty, like a perfectly Instagrammable picture that's been retouched a little too much.
Accessibility (Kudos, but Room for Improvement)
Thankfully, the Royal Elephant gets some points for accessibility. They seem to try. There's elevator access, which is a huge win, and they advertise "facilities for disabled guests." However, navigating those beautiful but sometimes tricky pathways in a wheelchair might be a bit of an adventure. I didn’t need it personally, but I did observe some tight turns and uneven paving that could present challenges. (Side note: Is it just me, or do all hotels say they're accessible, but the execution is always a bit… off?)
The Rooms (The Highs and the Uh-Ohs)
Let's be honest, the rooms are where a luxury hotel really needs to shine. And well, with the Royal Elephant, it's a bit… uneven.
- The Good: My room had ALL the basics (and then some). Super comfy beds, blackout curtains (absolute lifesaver), a lovely seating area, and a well-stocked mini-bar. The in-room safe box was a plus, and I appreciated the extra-long bed. Oh, and the robes? Glorious. Fluffy, perfect. I almost wore one to breakfast (more on that later). The internet was generally reliable, especially the free Wi-Fi in all rooms!
- The Not-So-Good: The 'luxury' feel… felt a little…dated? Think ornate furniture that's seen a few seasons of wear. My biggest gripe? The bathroom. Functional, sure. But the shower water pressure was pathetic, and the toiletries felt more like the stuff you find in a budget hotel than a luxury escape. There were slippers! I loved it!
- My Quirky observation: I think the air conditioning was on permanent ‘arctic blast' mode. I needed layers inside. I wonder if they put a note saying it's 'too cold' on my bed?
Dining, Drinking, & Snacking (A Foodie's Rollercoaster)
Okay, here's where things get really interesting. The Royal Elephant boasts a wealth of dining options, from the main restaurant’s buffet (breakfast, lunch, and dinner) to a more intimate a la carte restaurant:
- Breakfast (The Good, the Meh, and the Coffee Crisis): The breakfast buffet promised the world, and delivered…mostly. The Western breakfast options were solid, with freshly cooked eggs, crispy bacon, and a variety of pastries. They even had some Asian breakfast options! But the coffee situation? It was a constant battle. Weak, watery, and inconsistent. Seriously, hotel, invest in a decent coffee machine! I was in crisis mode on the first morning, looking for a decent cup of java; I had to find an alternative.
- Restaurants & Lounges: The main restaurant offered International cuisine in the restaurant, a decent variety. The Poolside bar was nice for a sunset drink (the view is genuinely stunning). And, yes, they have a Coffee/tea in the restaurant, eventually. The Happy hour was tempting, too!
- Impression: I would say, it's adequate.
The Spa & Relaxation (Almost Nirvana)
This is where the Royal Elephant really shines. The spa is a proper sanctuary.
- The Good: The Pool with view is breathtaking, especially at sunset. I spent hours just floating, feeling all my stress melt away. The Sauna was a welcome warm-up. They have a Spa/Sauna section, plus a steamroom. I indulged, and I also got a massage. This was the highlight. My therapist was a miracle worker, kneading away all the tension. It was pure bliss.
- The Meh: The Body scrub was okay, a little rougher than I'd have preferred. And the Body wrap while relaxing wasn’t exactly life-altering.
- My Emotional reaction: I’m seriously considering moving into the spa permanently.
Cleanliness & Safety (Comfortably Covered)
I was genuinely impressed by the measures the hotel takes to keep things clean and safe. Lots of points for:
- Daily disinfection in common areas
- Hand sanitizer
- Staff trained in safety protocol
- Rooms sanitized between stays
- Sanitized kitchen and tableware items They’ve even got Anti-viral cleaning products.
Services & Conveniences (A Mixed Bag)
The hotel offers a vast array of services, some excellent, some less so:
- The Good: Concierge service was helpful. Laundry service was efficient. They even have a Gift/souvenir shop for those last-minute trinkets. The Car park [free of charge] is fantastic!
- The Meh: The Cash withdrawal machine wouldn't take my card, which was annoying. And while there’s an Ironing service, I had to ask for it (it wasn’t automatically offered).
- My honest opinion: The service felt a little… impersonal at times. Like the staff were going through the motions, rather than genuinely caring about your experience. I am being picky here.
Things to Do & Getting Around (Exploring or Staying Put?)
The hotel offers a decent range of activities:
- Fitness center (I didn’t use it, but it looked well-equipped)
- Bicycle parking
- Car park [on-site]
- Airport transfer (convenient)
- Taxi service I also saw a Car power charging station
For the Kids (Family-Friendly?)
They have Family/child friendly facilities, they have offered Babysitting service, and Kids meal options, so families should feel welcome.
The Verdict (My Completely Unfiltered Opinion)
The Royal Elephant is a beautiful hotel with a lot to offer. It's got stunning grounds, a fantastic spa, and generally comfortable rooms. However, it's not quite the flawless "luxury" experience it promises. It's a bit of a mixed bag, with some dated elements, service that could be warmer, and a few minor niggles.
Would I go back? Maybe. If I were looking for a relaxing spa weekend and didn't mind a few imperfections, I'd consider it. But for the price, I'd expect a little more polish and a lot better coffee.
Final Rating: 3.5 out of 5 stars. (Or, a very enthusiastic thumbs-up with a slight frown.)
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Okay, buckle up, Buttercup, because this ain't your average, sterile travel itinerary. We're diving headfirst into the delightfully chaotic, slightly sweaty, and ultimately unforgettable world of the Royal Elephant Hotel & Conference Centre in Pretoria. Prepare for the ride – it’s got more twists than a pretzel factory and the emotional range of a sugar-crazed toddler.
The Royal Elephant Ramble: A Pretoria Pilgrimage (and Probable Meltdown)
(Day 1: Arrival – Hope, Humidity and the Almighty Aircon)
1:00 PM: Arrival & Check-in – The Grand Ambitions: Landed at OR Tambo (that's Joburg, for all you geographically-challenged travelers, like me), survived the airport gauntlet (always a victory!), and finally, finally, we're at the Royal Elephant. The brochure promised "opulence" and "serenity," and honestly, as I stumbled through the lobby, dripping with sweat and battling my suitcase, I just hoped for a working air conditioner. The check-in process? Let's just say it involved a long queue, a brief struggle with a charmingly confused receptionist, and a near-uncontrollable urge to scream, "JUST GIVE ME THE KEY!" But hey, the lobby did have a gigantic, sparkly chandelier… which, after all, is the hallmark of a quality establishment, right?
2:00 PM: The Room – Initial Impressions & Existential Dread: Okay, the room. "Luxurious" might be pushing it, but it was clean, which is half the battle in my travel book. The view – overlooking what appeared to be a meticulously manicured lawn – offered a fleeting sense of calm. I immediately collapsed on the bed, threw my arms wide open, and then spent a solid ten minutes wrestling with the aircon remote (victory!). Then I sat on the bed and stared at the ceiling for a moment, wondering how I managed to get here, miles from my home, and why I still couldn't unpack properly.
3:00 PM: Lunch – Crushing Expectations and Questionable Choices: They promised a "lavish" buffet. What I got was… food. Let's just leave it at that. I went for the salad bar first, because I always do. At least, that's what I thought. Instead I found a plate with a lot of lettuce that wasn't much to write home about. The bread was suspiciously stale. The desserts, however, looked promising, and I made a beeline for the little cakes.
4:00 PM: Poolside – The Great Sunscreen Catastrophe: "Relaxation" was the plan. I envisioned myself gracefully gliding through the azure waters of the pool, drink in hand, looking effortlessly fabulous. Reality? I tripped on the edge of the pool, almost took out a small child, and then managed to get sunscreen everywhere – my hair, my face, the poor, innocent pool chair. I now look like a particularly shiny ghost.
6:00 PM: Dinner – The Rise of the Dreaded Buffet pt. 2: Same buffet, different desperation. Attempted something new - the lamb chops. They were not terrible, but I guess I could've made something similar to it at home. The highlight? Watching a small dog wander into the dining room and steal a roll from a bewildered gentleman's table. Honestly, that dog was probably having a better time than I was.
8:00 PM: Bedtime – The Quest for REM: Exhausted, slightly sunburnt, and questioning all my life choices, I retreated to my room. Managed to watch a show and start falling asleep. The bed was surprisingly comfortable. Goodnight, Pretoria. May tomorrow bring fewer near-death experiences and more actual enjoyment.
(Day 2: Culture, Confusion, and Coffee Overload)
8:00 AM: Breakfast – A New Hope (and More Buffet Regret): Decided to go to the breakfast buffet even though I said I wouldn't do it again. Figured I'd give it another chance. The coffee was the only saving grace, this time. At least I got to enjoy that.
9:00 AM: Pretoria City Tour – Monuments and Melodrama: Hired a taxi and drove through the city, and all I could bring myself to do was sit in the back and try not to think about how much money I was spending. I saw the Union Buildings, which were actually pretty grand. I did get out and take some photos, as I always feel the need to do. I was starting to regret this whole trip, but I guess I could still have some fun, right?
12:00 PM: Lunch – The Second Wind: Found a little cafe that was actually not bad. I even ordered a proper meal, rather than resort to the buffet. I feel a little better now.
2:00 PM: Freedom Park – A Sobering Remembrance (and Tears): Freedom Park was an absolute gut punch in the best way possible. It's a poignant, powerful memorial to the history of South Africa. I spent hours wandering through the exhibits, reading the stories, and just… feeling. Yep, I shed a few tears. It's a must-see, but be prepared to be moved.
6:00 PM: Dinner – Fine Dining (Finally): A restaurant outside the hotel I found was actually a decent dining experience and the food was to die for. The best of the trip so far, hands down!
8:00 PM: Evening Relaxation – Bedtime is near : Enjoyed the quiet of my room, and watched some TV before falling asleep.
(Day 3: Departure – Reflecting and Regrets (and a Promise to Return)
8:00 AM: Breakfast – One Last Buffet Fiasco: The food was the same, nothing changed. I ate some anyway, because that's what you do.
9:00 AM: Check-out – A bittersweet Farewell: Checked out. The staff was still charming. Did I enjoy my stay? In spite of all the mishaps, yes. I love the Royal Elephant Hotel, and I will be back again some day.
10:00 AM: Departure – Goodbye Pretoria!: That's it, that's the itinerary!
Royal Elephant Hotel & Conference Paradise: FAQs (Because Let's Be Honest, You Probably Need Answers)
Okay, so you wanna know about the Royal Elephant. Let’s dive in. Buckle up, it’s gonna be a bumpy but beautiful ride. (And by "bumpy," I mean the traffic on the way there… Pretoria, am I right?)
I'm trying to keep this "FAQ" thing, but honestly, sometimes it feels more like a rambling chat with your slightly sleep-deprived friend who just *really* needs a good brunch (which the Royal Elephant conveniently offers, btw... more on that later!).
The Basics (Because We Gotta Start Somewhere, Right?)
What *is* the Royal Elephant, exactly? And is it actually royal? (Asking the important questions, people!)
Basically, it's a luxury hotel and conference center, slapped right there in Centurion, Pretoria. And yes, they *do* have elephants on their logo. Royal? Well, it's *trying* to be, with all the fancy decor and whatnot. I wouldn't expect a personal audience with the Queen, but it definitely aims for posh. Look, I once saw a guy in a ridiculously expensive suit looking stressed in the lobby, so take that as you will.
Where is it? (Because getting lost in Pretoria is a rite of passage.)
It's in Centurion, nestled right by the Hennops River. Plug "Royal Elephant Hotel" into your GPS. Trust me, you'll need it. Traffic can be a nightmare, especially during peak hours. I once spent an hour and a half crawling along John Vorster Drive. It made me question all my life choices, including scheduling that lunch meeting in the first place.
What kind of rooms are there? (Because, let's get to the good stuff.)
They have a range, from standard rooms to luxury suites. Think plush bedding, fancy bathrooms, and all the mod cons. I got a peek into a suite once (purely accidental, I swear!), and it was… opulent. I felt like I wasn't worthy to breathe the air. Don't expect anything *too* over-the-top, but they're definitely comfortable and well-appointed.
Food, Glorious Food (Because, priorities, people!)
What’s the food like? Is it worth the money? (The real question!)
Okay, the food. This is where things get... personal. They have a few restaurants. The buffet breakfast is… alright. It's a buffet, after all. Let's just say it's *there*. No major complaints, but nothing to write home about. You're not getting Michelin star quality, but you won’t starve. But they do have a lovely selection of pastries and fresh fruit. My weakness. I may or may not have grabbed a few extra croissants "for the road." Don't tell anyone.
The fine dining restaurant, however, is a different story. I had dinner there once. And… wow. Let me be clear: it was *expensive*. Like, wallet-weeping expensive. But the food? Absolutely divine. I had a perfectly cooked steak and dessert that made me temporarily forget all my financial woes. The service was impeccable – almost *too* attentive. You know? When you're constantly being asked if everything is alright? But overall, the food is top-notch, if you're willing to pay the price. I'm still calculating the damage, years later.
Do they have a bar? (Because, let's be real.)
Yes! And it's a lovely bar, complete with a fireplace. Very cozy. Great for a pre-dinner drink or a nightcap after a long day of pretending to be important at a conference. I may or may not have spent an afternoon there, nursing a very well-deserved cocktail after a particularly frustrating meeting. The bartender makes a mean Mojito. Just saying.
Conferences & Events (Because, work, unfortunately)
Is it a good conference venue? (The million-dollar question for some.)
Yep, they *are* well-equipped for conferences. Plenty of conference rooms of various sizes with all the necessary tech. I've been to a few conferences there, and the facilities are generally good. The staff are usually helpful (though sometimes a little on the overzealous side). The downside? See point 2: Centurion traffic. Your attendees will thank you if you factor in ample travel time.
Can you host weddings there? (Romance! Or, you know, logistical planning…)
Absolutely! They have beautiful gardens and event spaces. It's a popular wedding venue. I've seen some stunning photos. Judging by the sheer number of happy(ish) couples I've seen roaming around, they seem to handle weddings pretty well. Just be prepared for potential wedding-related traffic and noise if you happen to be staying there during one. I once got stuck behind a convoy of limos trying to leave the hotel. Took forever.
The Nitty Gritty Stuff (Because Life Isn't Always Champagne and Roses)
What about the spa? (Need to de-stress after all that.)
They *do* have a spa. I've never been, but I've heard good things.Wallet Friendly Stay
