Escape to Paradise: The Westin Santa Fe, Mexico City
Alright, Let's Dive In: A Chaotic Review of [Hotel Name Here, You Fill It In!] (Good luck, me)
Okay, so I just spent a week (or was it a blur?) at this place, and honestly, my brain's still trying to sort through it all. Let’s see if I can wrangle this review into something coherent. Buckle up, buttercups. It's gonna be a wild ride.
(SEO Metadata for the Search Engines, Because You Know, Gotta Play the Game…)
- Keywords: Hotel Review, Accessibility, Wheelchair Accessible, Spa, Fitness Center, Swimming Pool, Restaurants, Wi-Fi, [Hotel Name], Family Friendly, Non-Smoking, Airport Transfer, [City Name], Luxury Hotel, Reviews, Cleanliness, Safety, COVID-19 Protocols.
1. Accessibility (The Big One, For Me!)
Look, I'm not gonna lie, accessibility is HUGE for me (and should be for everyone!). And this hotel…well, it has its moments.
Wheelchair Accessible: Right off the bat, the lobby was decent. Wide doors, ramps where needed. But the hallways felt a little… cramped. Like, if a bellhop was hauling a mountain of luggage, I’d probably be stuck. (Rating: 7/10).
Elevator: YES! A working elevator. Thank the heavens. Saved my weary legs.
Facilities for disabled guests: This is where things got hazy. They claimed accessible rooms, but I didn’t get to see one. I'm a little skeptical. Like, they said it, but did they do it? Next time I'm demanding a tour.
2. On-Site Eats, Drinks, and General Munchies
Alright, food. My kryptonite. My happy place. And this hotel…had a LOT of options. Too many, maybe? See if you can make sense of my stream-of-consciousness on this!
Restaurants, Restaurants, Everywhere! A la carte, buffet, Asian, Western, Vegetarian… my head was spinning. One day I was craving a simple salad. Another day, a spicy pad thai! It was buffet city, though, and… frankly, it was a little overwhelming. So much food, so many choices, so many… people. I got my plate, saw the soup, went back for it, went back for the salad! Overwhelmed! (Rating: 6/10 for sheer variety, 4/10 for the buffet experience)
The Bar: Ah, the bar. Lifesaver. Especially after a long day of…well, anything. The pool-side bar was heaven. The cocktails weren't too ridiculous. (Rating: 8/10 for the view, 7/10 for the cocktails).
Room Service (24-hour): Blessing. A late-night burger and fries after a rough day? Yes, please. Especially after having to deal with a minor mishap at the front desk. So after they messed up my reservation, finding out the restaurants were booked, and being exhausted, ordering a burger, made things all right. (Rating: 9/10 for availability).
Snack Bar & Coffee Shop: Convenient, but honestly, I mostly raided the mini-bar. Guilty as charged.
3. Relaxation Stations (Spa, Fitness, Oh My!)
Okay, lets get loose.
The Spa/Sauna/Steamroom: Divine. Seriously. The massage therapists were amazing (though I'm still trying to figure out why they don't have the neck cradle). That body scrub? Pure bliss. (Rating: 9/10 for the experience, 7/10 for the neck cradle oversight). Did I mention the heated stone massage? Pure magic!
The Pool (with a View!): Gorgeous. Seriously Instagram-worthy. It felt like a postcard. And not crowded at all. It was like the hotel gods had heard my secret wish for peace. (Rating: 10/10).
Fitness Center: Yeah, I saw it. Looked…intimidating. I'm more of a "walk around the pool" kind of exerciser. But it looked clean and well-equipped, for you gym rats.
4. The All-Important Cleanliness & Safety (especially now!)
This is where they really, really tried.
Anti-viral Cleaning Products: Check.
Daily Disinfection in Common Areas: Check. They were spraying everything. Maybe a little too much. It felt a bit like walking around in a hazmat suit. (Rating: 8/10 for effort, 7/10 for the hazmat suit vibe).
Rooms Sanitized Between Stays: Seemed to be. My room was spotless.
Hand Sanitizer Everywhere: Seriously, everywhere. My hands are cleaner than they've ever been.
Physical Distancing of at Least 1 Meter: Mostly. The buffet was a bit of a free-for-all, though. People love to breathe down your neck when choosing sushi.
Staff Trained in Safety Protocol: They were friendly, but it sometimes felt a little robotic. "Good morning, sir. Please sanitize your hands, sir. Have a nice day, sir.'
5. Wi-Fi, Internet, All That Jive
Free Wi-Fi in all Rooms! Hurrah! Okay, I can't be that negative. It worked. Good job, hotel. It’s a must-have in this day and age.
Internet (LAN): Not even sure I know what that is, but it was apparently available.
Wi-Fi in Public Areas: Yes, and again, it worked.
6. Services & Conveniences (The Little Things that Matter)
Air Conditioning in Public Area: Needed.
Concierge: Helpful! They helped me find a taxi, a pharmacy, and a decent spot for a coffee. (Rating: 9/10).
Dry Cleaning/Laundry: A godsend. Especially after I spilled red wine on my favorite shirt. Damn, this is embarrassing!
Elevator: Mentioned this already, but it’s worth repeating. A life-saver!
Daily Housekeeping: Efficient, even if they did sometimes rearrange my things.
Car Park [Free of Charge]: YES!
Cashless Payment Service: Fantastic!
Luggage Storage: Really useful.
7. For the Kids (If You're Traveling with a Tiny Human)
Family-friendly! Yes!
Babysitting service & kids facilities: Didn't see it, but they claimed to have them
8. The Room Itself (Where the Magic Happens… Or Doesn't)
Air Conditioning: Essential!
Blackout Curtains: Needed!
Coffee/Tea Maker: Ah, the morning ritual. Good, but not great.
Desk & Laptop Workspace: Useful!
Free bottled water: Always appreciated.
Hair Dryer: Yesss!
In-room safe box: Necessary.
Mini bar: Okay – a little over-priced, but handy.
Non-Smoking: A pleasant surprise.
Separate shower/bathtub: Nice!
Wi-Fi [free]: Worked!
9. Getting Around (So You Don't Get Completely Lost)
Airport Transfer: Convenient. A bit pricey, but worth it.
Taxi Service: Easy to arrange.
10. The Verdict (Drumroll, Please!)
This hotel is… complicated. There are many good things, and, well, there were some things that were not so good.
Overall: I'd give it a solid 7.5/10.
Worth going back? Maybe. If I could get a guarantee of the accessibility features and fewer people at the buffet, I'd be in.
Final Thoughts:
This hotel is a mixed bag of amazing luxury and somewhat frustrating gaps. It's clean, safe (ish), and has some fantastic amenities. But it needs improvement. This place is not perfect. It's human! So, book it. But also, be prepared for a few bumps along the road. And if you see me at the breakfast buffet, please, please don't stand too close to me!
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Okay, buckle up, buttercups, because this ain't your average travel itinerary. This is me, wrestling with the sheer existence of vacation, in the heart of Mexico City, at the fancy Westin Santa Fe. Prepare for a diary of triumphs, disasters (probably involving tacos), and enough personal commentary to make you feel like you're right there, sweating alongside me. Day 1: Arrival and the Great Altitude Adjustment
- 4:00 AM - Flight from [Your Departure City]. (God help me, why do I always book red-eyes? I swear, if I see another screaming toddler, I'm going to… well, I'll probably just offer them a gummy worm. But internally I will be seething.)
- 9:00 AM - Arrive at Aeropuerto Internacional de la Ciudad de México (MEX). Ugh, the airport. Always a chaotic ballet of luggage and stressed-out humans. Immigration? Pray for mercy. I actually had a moment during the security check where I almost burst into tears because my shoes wouldn't fit through the scanner properly. I swear, my feet have expanded by a whole shoe size since COVID.
- 10:30 AM - Taxi to The Westin Santa Fe. The taxi driver, bless his heart, spoke about two words of English, and I spoke even less Spanish. The resulting conversation was a symphony of hand gestures, the occasional shared chuckle, and me nodding enthusiastically even when I clearly didn't understand. It felt like a pre-emptive apology for all the tourist-y things I was about to do.
- 11:30 AM - Check In. (and the real struggle begins). Okay, the Westin. Fancy. Smells like money and… well, something vaguely floral. The front desk person was impeccably polite. I, however, was running at about 50% functionality due to the altitude. Seriously, breathing felt like a strenuous activity. I fumbled with my credit card, my brain felt like a fried egg, and I mumbled something about needing oxygen. They probably thought I was a crazy person. (I may have added a tip to try to soothe the shame. Or I might have forgotten. Who even knows at this point?)
- 12:30 PM - Conquer the Room. Room is nice. View of… buildings. First order of business: collapse on the bed. Second: try to figure out how to work the TV remote. Seriously, these things are designed by sadists.
- 1:30 PM - Wanderlust and Tacos. Okay, enough resting. Gotta start the food coma. I ventured, wobblingly, out in search of lunch. Found a cute little taqueria a few blocks away. Ordered something… that involved meat, salsa, and tortillas. God, it was glorious. My first true taste of Mexico City. Maybe heavenly is a good way to describe it.
- 3:00 PM - Afternoon Nap (Obligatory). Altitude is a beast.
- 6:00 PM - Sunset and a Margarita from Hotel bar. The hotel bar. The barman seemed to be doing magic tricks to get the tequila into perfect consistency, and that margarita was…a moment. Just perfection.
- 7:30 PM - Food coma. I ordered room service. I ate. I died. I woke up.
Day 2: Art, History, and the Fear of Being That Tourist
9:00 AM - Coffee and Regret. Coffee helped. Regret…still there. Did I overeat yesterday? Yes.
10:00 AM - Museum of Anthropology. Okay, this place is huge. And overwhelming. The exhibits? Mind-blowing. But the sheer scale of it made me want to run away and hide in a quiet corner, and watch Netflix. I spent at least half the visit wandering around in a daze, feeling vaguely guilty that I wasn't soaking it all in. It took me 2 hours just to do the entrance! (I found a nice bench to sit and people-watch, though, which was highly underrated.)
12:30 PM - Lunch near the Anthropology museum. Found a little place serving… more tacos. (I'm detecting a theme.) This time, I tried something called chapulines (fried grasshoppers). They weren't terrible. Texture? Uh, crunchy. Taste? (Maybe a bit like…potato chips? I still don't know.) I ate some. I survived.
2:00 PM - Castle of Chapultepec. Another magnificent building! This one is a castle! The view from the top is incredible. I just had to resist the urge to start singing “I'm on top of the world…” really loudly and scaring everyone.
4:00 PM - "Shopping Spree" (or, "Panic-Buying in a Foreign Language"). Wandered into a little artisan market. Decided I needed a brightly colored scarf and some weirdly shaped ceramic birds. I think I haggled like a champ! (Or maybe I just paid double… who knows?). Whatever. It was an experience.
6:00 PM - Return to the hotel. I can barely remember walking! Then, I collapsed, again.
7:00 PM - Restaurant recommendation from the hotel. I went there. I liked it.
8:30 PM - The walk back. I felt like an idiot because I got lost.
Day 3: The Great Frida Kahlo Pilgrimage and a Questionable Cultural Choice
9:00 AM - Breakfast with a Side of Panic. I'm running on empty. I am so nervous for this day!
10:00 AM - The Casa Azul (Frida Kahlo Museum). Okay, this was…intense. So much history. So much heartbreak. So much…art. The line stretched around the block (I'd pre-booked tickets, thank god). Once inside, I was completely captivated. The colors, the story, the fact that this amazing human lived there… It was moving. A little overwhelming. I may or may not have shed a tear or two. (I definitely did.)
12:30 PM - Coyoacán Exploration. Walked around the charming neighborhood of Coyoacán. Found another market. Bought more things I didn't need. (Seriously, what am I going to do with all these ceramic birds?)
2:00 PM - Lunch and a Moment with Churros. Found a little café near the Casa Azul. Tried churros, with the requisite chocolate dipping sauce. Pure, sugary bliss. I may have gotten chocolate on my face.
3:30 PM - A Decision: Xochimilco or the Hotel? The floating gardens of Xochimilco…or…a nap. The nap won. No regrets.
7:00 PM - Dinner in the hotel. I was too tired to make decisions.
8:00 PM - Room and relax. I just relaxed.
Day 4: Winding Down and the Farewell Taco Tragedy
- 9:00 AM - Sleep in, then a breakfast.
- 10:00 AM - Last Minute Souvenir Dash & Regret. Was there anything I forgot? (Yes.) The scramble to find decent gifts for those back home. I found it – a colorful blanket from a street vendor. I hoped it'll fit.
- 12:00 PM - A Final, Heartbreaking Taco Pilgrimage. One last taco experience. Hoping to find the best taco in Mexico? (I suspect the true best taco is forever out of my grasp.) This time they were filled with Al Pastor. Delicious. I could have eaten a million, right then and there.
- 1:00 PM - Taxi Chaos and Airport Shenanigans. Farewell Mexico City. I cried a little. Mexico, you've been amazing.
- 4:00 PM - Flight Home. I finally go home.
- 10:00 PM - Arrival
So there you have it. A messy, glorious, taco-fueled journey through Mexico City. Will I remember all of it? Probably not. Did I conquer my fear of being "that" tourist? Mostly. Did I find inner peace? Maybe not. Did I eat a lot of tacos? You bet your sweet bippy I did. Would I do it again? In a heartbeat. ¡Adiós, Mexico! Until next time…and hopefully with a better grasp of the Spanish language.
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Why do I keep seeing this "Stuff" everywhere? Is it some kind of conspiracy? (Please tell me it's not a pyramid scheme...)
Okay, breathe. No, probably not a pyramid scheme. *Probably*. Look, the universe has a funny way of showing you things you're meant to see. Like, remember that time I was *obsessed* with finding a good baguette (don't even ask, it was a dark period involving a serious carb craving and a baker's wife who didn't understand the definition of "crusty")? Suddenly, baguettes were *everywhere*. Every bloody bakery, every grocery store, even that weird gas station that only sells jerky and lottery tickets. So, the "Stuff" is probably just... popping up because you're *looking* for it, intentionally or otherwise. Or maybe, and this is a *wild* maybe, the universe is trying to tell you something. Like, "Girl, you need more baguette!" *shrugs dramatically*.
What *is* "Stuff," exactly? Is it a product? A service? A lifestyle choice? Does it involve kale smoothies? Because if so, hard pass.
Ugh, kale smoothies. The *worst* part of the alleged "healthy lifestyle." Okay, so "Stuff" can be anything. And I mean *anything*. It’s the great, sloppy, ill-defined, delicious, frustrating, chaotic... *thing* in the middle of life. It *could* be a product. Like, the new fidget-spinner, the latest super-duper vacuum cleaner that promises to clean your floors AND your existential dread. Or it could be a service, like that questionable dating app you keep swiping on (you know the one). Or... and this is where it gets really trippy... it could be a lifestyle choice. And you know what, that “lifestyle choice” might be the one where you say, "Screw it, I'm just going to eat chocolate cake for dinner." And honestly, sometimes that's the best "Stuff" of all. Forget the kale.
I tried the "Stuff." Now what? I'm confused, overwhelmed, and possibly regretting my life choices. Help!
Welcome to the club, my friend. We have jackets. And chocolate cake. Okay, so you tried the "Stuff." Awesome! Or, possibly not. Look, let’s be real: Stuff is *never* perfect. It's usually messy in some spectacular way. That online course you shelled out for? Turns out the instructor’s voice sounded like a broken robot. The "revolutionary" kitchen gadget? It’s now living in a cupboard, gathering dust next to the bread machine. The point is, it happens. My advice? First, take a deep breath. Then, assess the damage. Is it fixable? Can you learn from the experience? If not? Laugh. Seriously. Laugh. And maybe, just maybe, pour yourself a stiff drink, preferably not a kale smoothie.
Is there a way to avoid "Stuff"? Because honestly, sometimes I just want to crawl under a blanket and never come out.
Honey, if there *was* a way to avoid "Stuff," I'd be living it. I mean, I tried, once. I attempted to live in a cabin in the woods, growing my own vegetables, avoiding all human contact, and only communicating with the squirrels. It lasted about a week. Turns out, squirrels are judgmental. Also, my "vegetable garden" consisted of half-eaten tomatoes. So, no, I really don't think there's a way to avoid "Stuff." And you know what? That's okay. "Stuff," even the bad "Stuff," is what makes life interesting. It’s what gives you stories to tell, memories to cherish (or at least laugh about), and, let's be honest, plenty of opportunities to screw up spectacularly. Embrace the chaos! Just maybe keep a healthy supply of chocolate cake on hand. You'll need it.
What if the "Stuff" is *really* complicated? The kind that involves paperwork, taxes, and possibly lawyers? I'm seriously considering running away and joining the circus (again).
Oh, you poor soul. The *complicated* "Stuff." Yeah, I've been there. Ugh. Paperwork, taxes… the lawyers... I can feel my blood pressure rising just thinking about it. Okay, first off: the circus sounds appealing. *Very* appealing. But remember, you'd have to wear spandex, and probably get sawdust in your… well, everywhere. So, let's try a different approach. First, take a deep breath. Then, break the problem down into manageable chunks. (Easier said than done, I know.) Can you get help? A professional? Someone who actually *understands* the gobbledegook? Or do what I did. And what my therapist is still working on: Just. Take. One. Step. At. A. Time. And reward yourself with a giant pizza after each one. And maybe, just maybe, a small, non-judgmental therapist...
Is "Stuff" linked to other stuff? Like, could something I do effect a bigger thing?
Oh, you better believe it, baby! The thing about "Stuff," is that it is often connected. Like those annoying little dominoes. One falls, and then... BAM! Everything else goes. Let's say you impulsively bought that questionable dating app. That "Stuff" could effect *your* "Stuff". Leading to another date, and then another, all of it. Or not! Sometimes that "Stuff" can also lead you to the love of your life... or, you know, just have a funny story to tell at a wedding. The point is, even the tiniest act, the littlest "Stuff" can create waves. It’s both terrifying and exhilarating. So, yeah. Think about that before you eat that third slice of cake. (But hey, sometimes you *need* the cake.)
What if the "Stuff" is just plain boring? I'm talking soul-crushingly, beige-wallpaper-level boring. Help me!
Boring "Stuff," huh? Oh, I *feel* that. There was a period in my life where every Tuesday was devoted to doing laundry -- and trust me, that's about as exciting as watching paint dry. Which isn’t that interesting either. But, listen, even the most boring "Stuff" can be spiced up. Think of it as a challenge. Like, how can you make doing laundry a *game*? Race against the clock! See how many matching socks you can find! Bonus points for folding them neatly (I *never* get bonus points). Or, put on some loud music while you are doing "Stuff". Sing at the top of yourHotel Explorers
